Originally published February 3, 2020
“Suppose you could find a simple way to embrace your life with joy, stop arguing with reality, and achieve serenity in the midst of chaos” – Erica Jong, author of Fear of Flying.
As I had gone through a bit of a stormy week, nothing seemed to be going my way. Nothing seemed to be working out the way I had foreseen it. I had written a program that did not seem to fly, I had put myself out to the community I live in; to apply for what I thought the perfect position. In my mind, all that I had been working on for the last two years had lead me to this exact place. Or, so I thought. Why was nothing working out the way it was supposed to? I had plans…yes I did. However, now two for two, I was, in my mind, shot down. Denied, and equivocally pushed to the side. Again, all the visual in my mind.
I was arguing with my reality and resisting anything else that appeared in the forefront of my life. How often do we resist our opportunities?
It might be time to go see a doctor…no I will go next week. Perhaps that time comes and goes but the thought keeps persisting. I should call my parents…I will call on the weekend. Again, the weekend comes and goes yet now we are regretful as we did not pick up the phone but the idea keeps presenting itself. I should apply for that position…I would do it just before the posting closes. How often do we take notice and shelf it? I will address that thought later.
What makes us take notice of a persistent idea? How many times must it appear before we finally address it?
As a Bereavement Counselor and facilitating Grief groups, I have noticed that I had heard the ‘call’ to take notice of the opportunities presenting themselves a couple years ago. My answer to all opportunities was a resounding ‘yes’ at that time. After all, if I do not taste the soup, how I can know how it tastes and if I will like it. Therefore, my answer of yes to every opportunity brought more and more opportunities and like-minded people into my carefully woven life.
Back to the stormy week…after the pushback and feeling shoved aside …I did not see what was in the clearing. Something that has been persisting…an idea I thought I could shelf until I had in place my program and ideal position in the field I long to be in. You know that thought…I would be successful when….I will be happiest when….
Taking on a different task had not even entered my mind at this point. I took time to feel the emotion I felt and asked myself what is it that I am feeling. Things were not going according to my plan. Well, the Universe may not feel the same way I do…or alternatively God probably had a chuckle at the path I thought I was paving. Ultimately, I can only choose to push the river or flow with it.
Striving to be the best version of myself, I am aware that I truly am human and do have my own experiences. It is in these experiences that I realize I have lessons to learn, I have my own stories that will be on replay and I am quite sure, I need to have faith and really trust in how the river will allow me to flow with it. Shall I resist it?
Listening and taking action on the persistent thoughts can allow new ideas, new thoughts and finally, trusting my intuition to naturally flow through me and my life. Once I am aware of what is persisting could I be ready to take action and let go of the resistance. How hard is it to ‘push a river’? Clearly, that is what I was doing. I was forcing things to happen despite what I was hearing my gut say, despite the way my body felt in pushing. It may be hard to create my own reality, but when something is not working, it is time to pause, reset and work with what is working.
If you were to look at your reflection today, what would you see? Do you see yourself pushing the river or would you see yourself in an inner tube floating with the river?
Perhaps today is the day to take a good look at your Reflection!
Namaste!
