Originally published November 4, 2020
As I was finishing a session with a client and thought it was a great session, feeling very proud of the work done through the last hour. The client says to me “that was a great session Barb, not like the session I just had with so and so.” I was intrigued and asked the client how was this session different? The client went on to tell me about how her previous energy worker had given them much more information where they gained more clarity about their situation. At this point, my ego is more than curious to know what this client got out of our session, so the question then is asked. The client shrugged and said they felt calm and rested from our session, but didn’t have the experience they had previously.
Can you say tailspin? Instead of thinking that this client received exactly what they needed from both myself and this other energy worker, I went to what I didn’t give them. Or what I should have done or hadn’t done. Does this happen a lot in my life, yes. Do I allow it, yes!
I am connected with several like minded individuals in our community, both in counselling and in the energy worker fields. I work hard to be sure I am ethical, that I support those in these circles as we are in this work for the highest good of others. After all, our gifts are not for us.
My experience with others had always been ‘I’m not as good as, or I wish I could do what so and so does’. The measuring stick comes out and my self confidence dissipates and resentment ensues. If I suddenly experience someone in my circle not supporting me or my efforts and yet here I have supported them for a long time, I’m sad or angry. Why? My expectations are that those others I support or encourage will do the same for me. However, they are not me. Nor am I them.
I am always very aware of when that measuring stick comes up now as I can feel my body react to that very thought of not being good enough. I can feel my body feel heavy, my breathing becomes fast and thoughts now become irrational. It suddenly is all about someone else and not me. What is the trigger? Why do I feel I need to use the measuring stick? Is it to justify what I do, how I do it or even why? Is it to justify my judgement that I’m better or more often thought of as not as good as?
I think the measuring stick is a good tool for me. It allows me to dismiss the thoughts that come with the visual of a wooden yard measuring stick. It is used to measure carpet or wood or other things that are used to build with. I have learned this visual tool now is my awareness key to showing me that we all have our gifts and they are used in the highest good for others. Many have been helped by me as well as by those in my circle.
I am grateful for the awareness that I don’t need to measure up to anyone else. Unless I choose to be better and to learn from those who I admire or are inspired by. However, the stick can stay where it belongs, in a carpenter’s tool belt.
Take time to remember your gifts are yours to offer, as mine are to offer as well. By no means am I better, by no means are you better. Put that measuring stick away. By removing the measuring stick we can choose to remove hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all.
Let the beauty of what you see, be you!