Originally published February 3, 2020
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely’ – C.G. Jung
How true is that?
Charlie Chaplin said: ‘As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is ‘Authenticity’. Are you living an authentic life?
Christmas is almost here, holidays are around the corner and here we are in a season where we are giving to the less fortunate, giving to families and friends, just plain giving and giving and giving. I wonder what we give ourselves in this self-less season. I wonder if we receive during this season…and I mean more than gifts. Is it easy to receive? Do we believe we deserve to receive?
With such a small family, I realized that I had very little to offer or give to my small family in the early days. It wasn’t about receiving but always giving. Allowing the holiday to dictate how much I should spend and even go into debt for. However, chatting with a friend about traditions and Holidays past, I realized what I had received and was given. My children who are now young adults had gifted me on how to be kind, listen and be compassionate. Most of all they both taught me how to laugh and laugh BIG. We went through a lot of hardship together, the three of us. A lot of pain, struggle and sadness, however, the ends of those chapters has us laughing at the silliest of things together. We were real, we were real together, and we never had the mask that we were okay when we were not…especially together. Not only had I taught them it was okay to not be okay, but that I would be there with them in either circumstance.
Loving myself has been a hard road, but I think the loving piece is the easiest. I think it’s the accepting that is the hardest part for me. I acknowledge that accepting can lead to loving…however, the act of accepting myself in all forms I have worn, grown into and molded myself into is hard. Acceptance of my choices, both bad and good, acceptance of where I was and now where I am…is tough. Not using a measuring stick to measure where I am against someone else happens…but no other has walked my path or walked in my shoes, as there may be similarities but essentially it is my path. I accept my path…I am grateful for the way it shows me and guides me and continues to flourish in front of me. Even if I have stepped off the path, or gone down another one less desirable…it is still mine as that is where my feet lead me. I accept that I have made those choices.
However, it still is terrifying to accept myself wholly and love who I am given all the mistakes I have made, knowing that I may make more. But I think it would be more terrifying to live in a lie where I deny where I’ve been.
This season I deserve to receive love, I am worthy of acceptance from myself and I will be self-less. Having self-love does not make me selfish or conceited, it allows me to respect, trust and honor myself authentically and lovingly.
Are you self-less…do you love yourself?
I wish for you a loving, authentic and safe Christmas this year. Many blessings to you and your families from the Truest Reflections family for a Happy New Year!