Originally published August 21, 2017
This is my first blog post and I thought it appropriate to talk about what holds us back from addressing what’s happening for us.
Almost 4 years ago, there was a heavy upheaval at home and what my family went through put us through the ringer. Stress, anger, hurt, sadness and I can’t even tell you how many tears fell. Through that time, I found it hard to reach out and ask for help. I had all the support I needed but there were times I felt shame, guilt and not wanting to impose on my friends. This led me to seek out professional help. But where would this lead? I had sought out counselling before and it was helpful. Would I need to do this forever? Could I do without?
I imagine questions come up for all of us whenever there is struggle and challenge in our lives. Where can I go? Who can I talk to? Can I actually trust my relationships to help me with what I’m going through? Do I want to share my fears, my thoughts or my feelings with them? Can they help me?
These were questions I asked myself over and over again. But I needed to talk about it. I needed to explore what was going on inside me during this time. Would they understand what I was going through? I would examine and analyse what my feelings were, and then projecting that my friends, my support group were not going through what I was and definitely wouldn’t understand. They were dealing with their own stuff and I didn’t want to burden anyone else with my ‘stuff’. So then, what should I do?
I took a step into the discomfort. I made a call and an appointment. Best call I had ever made. There were several calls with drug addiction counselors, intake/case workers, doctors as well as with mental health and other professionals. But this one call I made was for me, it was for my well being, my mental health. Again, the best call I could make.
Have you ever talked yourself out of something you knew was right for you? Have you ever felt like self care was selfish? Have you ever quit before you even started? Not knowing the end result can be scary, not being able to script what to say and instead, have to speak from the heart, or to be honest with yourself about what is happening can be very scary. But isn’t it harder living in the situation that causes you frustration, sadness and maybe even disappointment ?
What changes do you desire? What holds you back? What would it take for you to take that first step? What is it you really need?
Things to think about….have a great Monday.